When does it become worth it?

(Women pictured are NAOMI community members but not the author of this story.)

I look at the woman across from me and so much of my story is in her face. I see the familiar lines of grief and despair. The desperation for change but fear of being alone in the unknown.  “When does it become worth it?” she asks.

I don’t know how to answer her question because “worth it” doesn’t mean no pain.

Some days are full of light when I watch my children play in our new home. The haven of peace that I have worked hard to make for us. Other days my phone won’t stop with his calls. And his texts are a harsh reminder of what we left behind. 

When I first started my journey, I didn’t know that I could face the pain without drowning or that there was someone who could see the worst of me and still choose to stay. 

I finally meet her eyes and share. “It becomes worth it when…”

• You realize that you are able to care for yourself well even if you lose someone or something that you thought kept you safe. 

• You know what you need and feel capable of figuring out how to live well. 

• The fear of the unknown no longer gets to decide your future. Instead you trust yourself to handle the hard stuff by doing the next right thing without reaching for the thing that feels like comfort but hurts you. 

• You feel yourself moving through the days with confidence and hope instead of spending all your energy trying to find a way to avoid more pain. 

• You realize that you choose to receive grace from others and give it to yourself because you no longer have shame to hide from. 

This is her story of thriving.

Conversations like this are part of the healing journey at NAOMI. The healing journey is not linear but like a spiral. It takes perseverance and hope to keep circling back around to pursue growth, healing and connection.