NAOMI: What’s in a Name?

By Barbara Comito, Development Director

“A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” - Shakespeare

The NAOMI community derives its name from a remarkable friendship between two women who suffered great loss but chose to encourage, support and serve one another as they journeyed on the path to healing and rebuilt their lives.

The biblical account in the book of Ruth tells the story of Naomi, a name meaning “pleasant, delightful, lovely,” and her daughter-in-law, Ruth, a name meaning “compassionate friend." The story reflects the power of unconditional love and healthy loyalty - two hallmarks of the NAOMI community.

While at various times, the power dynamic shifts and each woman gives to the other, the relationship generates continual growth, new life and hope for both women. 

Shame in Ancient Times

The story begins with Naomi, along with her husband and two sons, being forced to flee the land of Israel due to a severe famine. They travel to Moab where both sons marry Moabite women. While there, Naomi’s husband dies, followed by the deaths of both of her sons, leaving three widows in poverty with no visible means of support; the younger two women, childless. Naomi decides the best thing to do is to return to Israel. She discourages the younger women from accompanying her, but Ruth insists: 

“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (Ruth 1:16-17)

Upon their return to Israel, Naomi tells the community not to call her Naomi, a name associated with strength, beauty and resilience. Rather, she says, “Call me Mara,” meaning “bitter.” Naomi is in a low place. In that ancient culture, her situation was shameful. She felt forgotten, deserted by God. She had no husband, no sons, no grandchildren. 

Naomi wasn’t being melodramatic. “To be a widow in antiquity was to be destitute; to be a widow with no sons was living death, the ultimate emptiness.” (Nancylucenay.com)

A Loyal Friend

Ruth is the friend Naomi needs at that moment. She has hope where Naomi does not. She has strength and youth where Naomi does not. She goes to work, gleaning in the fields and bringing back grain for them both. The text gives no evidence of Ruth trying to “cheer up” Naomi or “fix” her. Rather, she listens to her, respects her and even follows her advice. She is loyal, committed, steadfast.

And, over time, the women’s situation improves, first gradually and then, dramatically. Ruth eventually marries and has a son who ends up being recorded in the lineage of King David, and ultimately, Jesus. The shame is erased.

Near the end of the book, the Israelite women say to Naomi: “Your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given birth to a son.”

Better Than Seven Sons

Fortunately, today, a woman’s destiny is not completely dependent upon marriage and childbirth. Still, women are often hurt in relationships: 41 percent of women in the U.S. experience intimate partner violence; nearly 40 percent of single mothers live in poverty; 21 percent of the homeless population is made up of families headed by single mothers; and single mothers are more likely to experience mental health challenges.

Growing up in poverty and witnessing intimate partner violence can create a cycle of trauma. It is this cycle which NAOMI seeks to break by providing healing, direction and support through healthy relationships, similar to the one modeled by Ruth and Naomi.