From Surviving to Thriving: healing from trauma
This is the final segment in a four-part series of quotes and stories compiled by NAOMI Community Director Sara Cardwell. “Thriving” doesn’t mean “cured” or “fixed” because that’s not really the goal. “Thriving” means all of your hard work is worth it because you feel confident in your ability to choose the next right thing. “Thriving” means you’re no longer looking for a way to escape your life or dull the pain because you have hope that you can both give and receive grace. Read the other three parts in the series: Alone in the Dark, The Importance of Being Seen and The Comfort of Trauma-Informed Care. Healing is possible through the love and belonging provided by a community who invests in women and children enduring trauma.
“Is it really worth it? Will it ever really be worth it?”
I look at the woman across from me and so much of my story is in her face. I see the familiar lines of grief and despair. The desperation for change but the fear of being alone in the unknown. I don’t know how to answer her question because “worth it” doesn’t mean no pain.
Some days are full of light when I watch my children play in our new home. The haven of peace that I have worked hard to make for us.
Other days my phone won’t stop with his calls. And his texts are a harsh reminder of what we left behind.
When I first started my journey, I didn’t know whether I mattered without all the things I did for others; I thought all my value was wrapped up in the things that I did or didn’t do.
I didn’t know if I could face the pain without drowning or if it was possible for someone to see the worst of me and still choose to stay.
I finally meet her eyes and share…
It becomes worth it when you realize that you are able to care for yourself well even if you lose someone or something that you thought kept you safe.
You know what you need and feel capable of figuring out how to live well.
Fear of the unknown no longer gets to decide your future.
Instead, you trust yourself to handle the hard stuff by doing the next right thing without reaching for the thing that feels like comfort but hurts you.
It becomes worth it when you feel yourself moving through the days with confidence and hope instead of spending all your energy trying to find a way to avoid more pain.
It becomes worth it when you realize that you choose to receive grace from others and give it to yourself because you’re no longer hiding from your shame.
